I just cannot even grasp this part of God’s story being written in Judy’s life..This doesn’t happen to people who are so good and true and hard-working and kind and lovely in the world. Right?
I have always gotten along with Dave’s family. There has never been a time when there was a lot of conflict or great frustration between me and Dave’s parents, or any other family member of his. I was always welcomed in and they certainly never meddled, almost to a fault. But there has been a little change in our relationship (it is probably just on my side, so I’m not speaking for them), since Dave died.
For me, taking the role of mother seems so much “easier” sometimes because I don’t have to be vulnerable or ask for help. I don’t have to let my guard down and allow others in. As mother, I often vie for control. As daughter, I have to admit someone else might know better and have my best interest in mind.
One could argue that motherhood is really about daughterhood. It is only when we understand what it means to be a daughter, that we can truly be the mothers God created us to be.
“I cried for the pain and hurt that surrounds people not feeling loved, people who feel misunderstood, people who are trying to love and everything in between…”
Twenty five years. Give or take.
That’s how long I’ve been waiting to see some key pieces in the puzzle of “my story” come together. Oh what fun it has been to lock a few into place!
My kids are pretty excited about Father’s Day. They have made cards, written notes, and painted random things on felt that somehow translate into meanings of love for Tony. I haven’t picked up on any extra longings for Dave as Father’s Day approaches. I, of course, never know what to do.
…my great grandmother didn’t commit heroic acts of bravery so that I could write this today. She lived her life. She took the next correct action that faced her…and with enough of these choices, she created a woven tapestry of grit, intrigue, and heart.
Turns out that processing my thoughts, emotions and behaviors through this filter radically revolutionizes my days. When my teeth clench and my knuckles turn white, I know I have fallen prey to the orphan spirit. A spirit shrouded in control, anxiety and fear. That is not how I want to live. And that is definitely not what brings true life.
Saying goodbye to the school year #HALLELUJAH and saying hello to the summer #JESUSISURRENDER
I’m moving. I have known I would be moving for a long time, but the time is actually here. I will be leaving this house, this neighborhood, my neighborhood FRIENDS, and this place where I seriously, to the bottom of my heart, for reals, was convinced that I would finish the rest of my days.