In This House: One Small Step to Reconcile My Peaceful Inside with the Raging Outside

I don’t know how to reconcile the hostile outside with my peaceful inside. I don’t know if I even want to. Can we just stay here forever? In this house, arguments and emotions rise, but eventually fall again because we know each other. We trust each other. We love each other. At the end of the day, we don’t fear a wild hand or rogue bullet. 

The African man-child that looks down at me these days might bristle for a moment under a corrective word, but ultimately circles back around with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. We have worked hard and loved much to convince him he is safe. In this house. 

Did Someone Order a Sandwich? (The new normal of raising children while caring for an aging parent)

I try to keep my voice soft because: how can I really know the answers? So I do my best to be patient, not freak out, and answer. all. the. questions.

On being a member of the  sandwich generation which refers to those who take care of an aging loved one while still taking care of children.

A Father Here, A Father in Heaven, And a Heavenly Father

My kids are pretty excited about Father’s Day. They have made cards, written notes, and painted random things on felt that somehow translate into meanings of love for Tony. I haven’t picked up on any extra longings for Dave as Father’s Day approaches. I, of course, never know what to do.

Orphan Spirit vs. Child of God

Turns out that processing my thoughts, emotions and behaviors through this filter radically revolutionizes my days. When my teeth clench and my knuckles turn white, I know I have fallen prey to the orphan spirit. A spirit shrouded in control, anxiety and fear. That is not how I want to live. And that is definitely not what brings true life.

The Waiting Game: Making Peace With the Holy Hesitation

For sure there are things we “wait” for that are fairly inconsequential — we wait for the show to start, the light to turn green, our turn at the check-out counter — but there are lots of other things we wait for that feel (and are) much more substantial. Like waiting for “Mr. Right” to come along, for that baby to arrive, for that kid to finally sleep through the night, for that adoption to happen, for that job to come through… Many of these things, require a passive wait. There isn’t much we can actually do to hasten the outcome.

However, when big things come our way that require we make a decision or a take specific action in order for them to come to fruition, how do we decide what to do?